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“I’m never gonna hate you so come off that,” she replied, a tiny smile touching her lips. The way he rubs her back is soothing and brings Sookie comfort even though she wishes she could provide Alcide with more solace as well. “I do understand,” she nodded, “take all the time you need, just know I’ll be here when you do decided you want to talk some more.”
A wave of relief came over the faerie as he reassured that he didn’t want to end their friendship completely. It would have broken Sookie’s heart if Alcide had wanted absolutely nothing to do with her. His words were sweet, causing her to cry once again but not as forceful as before. Wiping away the tears with the back of her head, she sniffled slightly. “I won’t forget,” she replied, “you’ve always been good to me. You’re a good man, I’m very lucky to have someone like you care for me so much.” When he made the comment about kissing her she gazed up into his handsome face, his lips feeling feather light against her forehead. “I’d say you could kiss me once more, but I don’t think it’d be right,” she explained, “I think the kiss you just gave me is absolutely perfect.”
“Don’t be a stranger for too long,” she smiled as he went to leave out the old front door, “Call me sooner rather than later, alright?”
She’s complimenting him. Telling him that he’s a good man and she’s proud to have him in her life, a man that cares about her so much but why does Alcide not feel that way. Why does Alcide feel like he tarnished that? The answer is because he isn’t a good man. He isn’t worthy of her. He’s just like the scum she decides to have in her life, those fangers. He’s just as low as them on the totem pole. He stooped down to low life level tonight but saying those hurtful things, for making her cry and now he has to deal with the consequences of guilt and regret that wash over his being. The one thing Eric has besides now Sookie is that he doesn’t is courage. He’s a coward in his eyes and hers.
His body is growing stiff as she resides in his arms and he wish that the reason she is in his embrace could be for a different reason entirely. “Sorry.” He whispers as he retorts back to his kissing comment. “I’ll come here you or if you’re ever in Mississippi, stop by. I can’t promise I won’t be sweaty and gross but it’s better than dead.” As soon as he makes the comment he looks down and releases her from his arms. “I’ll call ya. See ya around, Sook.” He gives her a weak smile and exits her old home and heads to his truck. Looking back, he shakes his head and drives off down her gravel stricken driveway back to Shrevport in defeat.
(via sweetsouthernsookie)
(Source: teacuphumans, via imhereforsookie)
Pickup Truck / Kings Of Leon
“I can’t hate you,” she sniffled, burring her face in his chest, trying to stop her own tears. “I don’t want to hate you and even if you would have left,” she explained, “I would have tried to call you or gotten ahold of you somehow.” It pained Sookie that she’d done this to Alcide, that she’d led him on so badly and now ripped his heart to shreds. It wasn’t fair and it was so selfish but she knew what her heart wanted and needed.
“You know that’s not true,” she shook her head, pulling away slightly so they could look one another in the eye. “You deserve so much happiness and my friendship even though I’d understand if you didn’t want to speak to me ever again,” she replied, “I hurt you terribly and that I feel horrible for.” Sookie knew Alcide didn’t mean anything he’d said to her before, it was all a defense mechanism. “I still want you in my life,” she announced, “if you’d like to be. I want to be friends but I know it might take time, I’m willin’ to wait for you to heal. I can’t lose you completely Alcide.”
“You should hate me. I rather you do. That way I know that I got what was comin’ to me for actin’ this way.” He sighs as he holds her in his strong hold of arms. His large hands rubbing the lower portion of her back. “I need to leave, Sook. I need to sort out my life before anything else happens. I hope you can understand that.” He states as he pulls back to catch a glimpse of her face.
“I’d always want you in my life. I can’t throw any of what we were away. From the moment I met you, I knew you were special and I don’t mean the blood. I mean I loved you from first time I laid eyes on you. That won’t ever change. Always remember that. Even if you can’t love me like I want, I have enough love for the both of us. It’s just a shame because I was looking forward to kissing you tonight after being without you for almost two weeks.” He tries to lighten the mood but then he gets serious once more. “You won’t ever lose me. I promise.” He leans down and kisses her forehead gently. All the anger he seemed to feel had subsided.
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When he begins to calm down some and begins to reiterate all his feelings for her, Sookie’s tears increase. “I know,” she whispers, unable to look him in the eye currently, the way they’ve both just behaved is killing her. “I’m not tryin’ to erase this,” she assured, “trust me, I don’t want to forget what we’ve shared. I just need you to know everythin’ and I can’t lie to you. Would you rather have me continue on and not be honest? You deserve someone who is goin’ to love every single part of you unconditionally, I can’t do that so why would I waste all your love?”
“You don’t deserve me bein’ so hateful,” she stated, watching as he descended the stairs and reached the front door. “Alcide wait!” Sookie called after him, moving as fast as her feet could take her to the burly werewolf. A dainty hand tugged at his shirt wanting him to turn around before her arms wrapped around his waist. “I’m s-so s-sorry,” she choked out through tears, “p-please don’t hate me…..please.”
Alcide’s body temperature was lowering and returning to its normal state slowly but damn right surely. He had to calm down and he was trying to. No need to make this worse than he had already made it to begin with. This night was not supposed to turn out like this but he caused it. He always found a way to screw something up, something great up like Sookie and his relationship. Even if she forgave for which he wished she wouldn’t because he did not deserve her gratitude, he could never mend this friendship or expect things to be the same between them and he sure as hell would never forgive himself for how he acted. “I would have rather not known. It hurts less when you don’t know.” He admits truthfully though that’s the one thing he admired about her. She was never half ass when it came to anything. She always was upfront even in the most subtle way. A quality he wish he had. Right now would be a perfect time.
“I was just as hateful.” He muttered as he turns the brass door knob as the screen door is opened as well. She hears him yelling his name and he has to blink more than once to really see what’s happening in front of his eyes. She’s coming after him and before he can process this, her arms are around him and he leans down placing his chin atop her golden tresses. This feels normal, whatever that is for a vampire loving fairie and werewolf. He’d do anything to have her in his arms at all times. “I could never hate you. But it’d be easier if you hated me, Sook. I don’t deserve anything that involves you except this pain. You know I didn’t mean half the shit I said. I just wanted us to work. More than anything else in this fucked up world.”
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“That’s what a fucking journal is for. I ain’t you’re fucking diary.” He growls out at her and follows after her, not caring that she doesn’t want him to. “You think, Sookie? You think you shouldn’t have said them? Well, you did. You fucking said them and it fucking hurts. You’re apologizing but I’m not feeling any better.” It was almost as if he was blaming her and he knew he had no right to do so but the hurt was cutting him deep at the core. She said things, things that he never thought she would say to him but he was praying she would.“You fuck nasty so why not talk to you how you deserve!” He’s yelling at her and he knows he’s going to regret it later but right now he dishing to her what he think she needs to hear. Usually Alcide is quiet. He minds his business and he’s loyal but that’s changed tonight. She’s bringing out the worst in him. The worst that only he thought being with the infamous Debbie Pelt could bring out to shine. “He fucked you good, huh? He made you the whore that I thought Debbie was. But guess what, you’re not as different as you think. You could be sisters. ” Practically hissing, he grabs her arm as she makes her way up the flight up stairs. “But at least she had the decency to tell me and show me the true whore she was from the beginning. I was blind with her and I wasn’t much different with you.”
She’s hurting and it’s his fault. He hates this. He hates how he’s treating her but nothing can be changed. He’s scorned. The one woman he thought would be, could be the one burned him bad. “I’m not meant to be happy and Sookie, you proved that. Thank you.” He looked at her one last time before he headed down the stair he climbed and he turned to leave in shame.
“He fucks me so good!” she spat back, trying to fight her tears but they stream down those flushed cheeks as she grits her teeth in anger and disgust. How could Alcide speak to her in this way? Yes she had expected his rage and yes she had expected him to call her out on her feelings however she hadn’t expected him to make her feel like a complete slut. She felt dirty and cheap which she absolutely hated, no man had ever made her feel so awful in her life.
“Don’t you ever compare me to that V addicted, evil bitch!” she screamed, horrified that he would even lump her in the same category as his late ex Debbie Pelt. “I am not Debbie! You’re takin’ all this out on me but I think it’s a mix of shit you didn’t have the balls to say to her! Coward! At least I’m tellin’ you everything now! At least I didn’t lie my ass off the moment you walked in that door! I’m not ashamed of what I did, I will never regret making love to Eric or bein’ in love with him, NEVER!”
When he grabbed her arm she yelped slightly, he was another that didn’t know his own strength. It was meant to get her attention not to hurt her however it still was unexpected. “Do not put your hands on me,” she warned, “do not touch me.” In that moment Sookie was worried that Eric would end up on her front door, sensing her fear, upset and her pain. “You better pray he doesn’t come through that front door,” she threatened, knowing it would just anger him more but she could give two shits at this point.
As he said his peace and let her go, Sookie leaned over the railing on the stairs, watching as Alcide walked away from her. “Just so you know,” she choked out, her tears finally kicking in full force, “I’ve never had any man make me feel like a whore in my life…..until you. I may get nasty in bed, but I do not deserve to be talked down to like I’m trash. You have no right, Alcide Herveaux, I am a lady, first and foremost.”
He’s clenching his fists at his sides as she too lashes out at him. Every word she’s saying is hitting home and he’s aware she’s doing it to spite him. Make him angrier because of how he’s treating her currently. He deserves a whole a lot more than she does. “You want to know why this hurts me so much? Why it’s fucking killing me? Because I love you. I am in love with you. I may have thought I loved Debbie but no. That ain’t and will never be real. What I shared-what we shared was real and now it’s like you’re erasin’ everything between us.” He was being honest and he cocks his head some to face her. He sees her tears and he despises himself even more than originally. “You’re right. You don’t deserve anything I’ve said to you and you know what? I deserve this to happen to me.” He looks away from her and down to the floor only to have his gaze return to her face for maybe the last time.
“I am a coward.” He places his large palm on the doorknob of the aged door and he doesn’t expect her to keep him around. Not after what she confessed and especially not after the lashing his tongue gave her.
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Alcide had every right to feel like Sookie was a lair, her indecisiveness definitely taking a toll on everyone around her. “Yes I said those things,” she nodded, “because I wanted to convince myself of them. Because if I could believe in those words than maybe they would become true. But nothing happened the way I thought it would, the things I thought I needed turned out not to be after all. I should have never said those things to you Alcide, that was so wrong of me and I know it’s a lot to ask but please believe me when I say I am sorry for hurting you.”
As the conversation continued, Sookie’s mouth dropped open in shock as she heard Alcide’s response to her explanation. To the truth he wanted so damn badly. The words cut her deep, practically to the core worse than anything ever had before. The one thing that the faerie was not was a slut, a whore in which in this moment he’d made her feel like just that. “How dare you talk nasty to me like that!” she spat, unable to control herself, it was either rage or tears and she chose not to be weak. “It has nothing, NOTHING to do with what ya’ll have in your pants!”
The bile was rising in her throat, the viking blood coursing through her veins heating her skin and giving her strength. If he wanted to play dirty, by God Sookie would do just that; Eric would have been proud. “If that’s how you feel you go ahead and you tell everyone that’s called me those filthy words that they were right about Sookie Stackhouse,” she growled, “I’m a fuckin’ FangBanger and I’m proud of it! But let’s get one thing straight, I’m only “bangin” one vampire and I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my entire life and guess what? He loves me TEN TIMES AS MUCH!”
Turning on her heal she went to leave the kitchen, knowing very well he’d follow her but at this point she didn’t care. Facing him once more in front of the staircase she shook her head, unable to resist the word vomit that began to flow. “And just so you know,” she called back, “His fucks aren’t just good, they are AMAZING and so is his dead cock, you asshole!” The tears began to fall from her eyes as she hurried up the staircase, knowing he’d be right after her and would now be three times as angry.
“That’s what a fucking journal is for. I ain’t you’re fucking diary.” He growls out at her and follows after her, not caring that she doesn’t want him to. “You think, Sookie? You think you shouldn’t have said them? Well, you did. You fucking said them and it fucking hurts. You’re apologizing but I’m not feeling any better.” It was almost as if he was blaming her and he knew he had no right to do so but the hurt was cutting him deep at the core. She said things, things that he never thought she would say to him but he was praying she would.
“You fuck nasty so why not talk to you how you deserve!” He’s yelling at her and he knows he’s going to regret it later but right now he dishing to her what he think she needs to hear. Usually Alcide is quiet. He minds his business and he’s loyal but that’s changed tonight. She’s bringing out the worst in him. The worst that only he thought being with the infamous Debbie Pelt could bring out to shine. “He fucked you good, huh? He made you the whore that I thought Debbie was. But guess what, you’re not as different as you think. You could be sisters. ” Practically hissing, he grabs her arm as she makes her way up the flight up stairs. “But at least she had the decency to tell me and show me the true whore she was from the beginning. I was blind with her and I wasn’t much different with you.”
She’s hurting and it’s his fault. He hates this. He hates how he’s treating her but nothing can be changed. He’s scorned. The one woman he thought would be, could be the one burned him bad. “I’m not meant to be happy and Sookie, you proved that. Thank you.” He looked at her one last time before he headed down the stair he climbed and he turned to leave in shame.
(via sweetsouthernsookie)
Alcide just standing there can feel the anger erupt inside him when he’s instinct confirms that one of the two vampires he has no respect for was here and in this house and possibly in Sookie. “You think I should sit? You know what I think? I think you should confirm what I have the strongest feeling that happened here. One of them was here. I know it. I can feel it in my bones. I can smell him all over you.” He starts to pace in the kitchen and shoots her a glare every now and then. “You said..Sookie, you said you loved me and what I’m feeling, what I think went on here goes against your words. All I ask is for you to tell me the truth.”The way he’s coming at her with his words feels like tiny daggers piercing her skin. Sookie’s dark spheres are wide but she refuses to convey any emotion that might lead on to the fact that she wants to cry. Closing her eyes tightly she bites down on her lower lip to contain the scream she feels bubbling inside her. She’s caused this madness, it’s her fault that this wonderful man feels these terrible emotions. “You want the truth?” she asks even though that’s exactly what he asked for. “Alright,” she nodded, “the truth is I do love you….but not how I wanted to or how you need me to. I needed normal, stability…or at least I thought I did.” Standing from the chair she leans into the table, refusing to be the only one sitting.
“I tried really hard to force myself into wantin’ this life completely,” she admitted, “because you’re an amazing man, Alcide, far better than many I’ve met. But the truth is…..I’m not normal and I know in my heart that I’d be lyin’ to you if I stood here right now and said you’re the one. I’d be lyin’ if I said I want this for the rest of my life and that I want you forever.”
Taking a deep breath she exhales loudly, eyes meeting his own, gazing deeply. Trying to block out his thoughts from entering her own mind, Sookie continues. “I love Eric,” she breathes, shaking her head slightly, “that’s my secret, the one I’ve been hidin’ from everyone for far to long. I’m not gonna say I’m sorry because I know that will never be enough for you to forgive me for what I’ve done to you.”
“Yes, I want the truth.” He repeated. “Yes, I want the fucking truth.” His anger was flaring inside him and it was taking all of his self control (what he had left of it at this point) to remain semi calm and reasonable but the man was hurting. The man felt betrayed. The man’s heart was shattered although he knew this could happen. That this would happen eventually. What he did not suspect was that it would be this soon. He knew Sookie didn’t toy or manipulate him purposely. Hell, she was confused but it didn’t hurt any less. “But you said I was the one. You said you wanted me forever. And you must be so fucking indecisive or a fucking liar.” He spat as he leaned against the kitchen counter. “Or are his fucks just that good? You don’t love him. You love what I can’t offer you. A dead fucking cock.” That was it. Her saying she loved him straight to his face took the cake. The vein in his forehead was two seconds from exploding. “So you really are just a fangbanger like everyone warned me about. Good to know. Real good to finally see for myself.” Alcide knew his words hurt but he was hurt himself. He was over the line but then again he couldn’t find one fiber in his thick frame to care right now.
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